Longhaired, Male, Musician Seeks.......

Men are dominating  Rock'n'Roll, and that's the reason, why there is such a shitty mix-up. 

One of the most favorite notions in the holy music business are the so called chiche's. And we've got as many, as there are stars in the sky. To mention only a few examples, we've got the long hair, without this, a real rocker would seem like a microphone without rack. Although the hair of some guys has already a bit lightened with a little sunshine on the backhead. But no matter, most important are the curls in the neck. Or let's take the beloved leather jackets which show more of a guitar heroe's hair on his chest than on his head. But  rather some fluffy hair on the chest than nothing at all. Another chiche' is a cool eyeglimpse, a golden necklace and a small guitar-shaped-earring. Tattoos are the second skin and a must to get noticed as a true rocker from ten miles away. If this guy can even play his instrument well, fans kiss their feet, and some pretty blondes kiss their... whatsoever.
So let's put together: a rockmusician looks good, he plays well, acts cool and lets women melt like chocolate in the sun. One look is enough to conquer the world with all consequencies. Though these things nowadays haven't got the high rating like many years ago, it helps some star-artists or high C - acrobates to polish their suffering image of a damaged ego.
And there they are, squeezed in the first row breathless, the Claudia Schiffers of the Rock'n'Roll association cheering him up on stage, and  watching his swinging hips rather than listening to the glory tunes. And if the god in leather starts looking in their direction, enthusiasm get's outta control. His selfconfidence grows endlessly, ensures him about his talent and improves his virtuosity. The aftershow party seems to be rescued.
This, just mentioned example is the biggest cliche' of all. And it is the one, I really wanna tidy up with once for good.

Musicians get very inventive, what's up to their love life, when everything else doesn't work anymore.......

Thanks to the internet I was able to prove this fact. It really seems, that there are still a few longhaired, good looking men in the genre out there, seeking for the suitable rocker bride via advert. Of course only serious replies are desired, or lets say, clicks on the personal website.  www.longhairedmen.com is the name of the promising homepage in the net. I've had a closer look at it and found some astonishing facts.
In generell we can say, that this page is dedicated to all longhaired male individuals or the ones who just start growing their fluffy feathers on their precious scalps. You'll find tricks and hints concerning hair care and many adverts of more or less researched miracle liquids, which promise a healthy growth of men's hair. Whatever Viagra is for the male virility, some mixtures seem to be for men's noble forhead. An exchange of experience is welcome in the guestbook which is highly frequented. By the way, if nothing helps, there's still the possibility of wearing a hairpiece or a wig to save the image of the ever-young-staying headbanger. Best example is Mr. R.Blackmore, who's handycap is nicely ignored, thanks to his talent of brillant guitar playing. A little bit cheaper than a wig is a pirates-headscarf of a bossanova-hat-en vogue. The Scorpions have done the first step in this direction and created a new Rock'n'Roll fashion style, which became quite popular. Of course men can get around this problem in a radical way by shaving everything off and decide for the Kojak-Lollipop razorhead like Angry Anderson of Rose Tattoo, who seemed to be born with a bald head. But he's also the best example, that wearing no hair at all, can be soooo sexy. But apart from all these hair studies, you can find, - the before mentioned Lonely-Heart-Corner with much understanding for Heavy Metal and Co. You can find the rich offer of longhaired individuals on the bottom, left hand side on the main page, shown in numbers  from 1 to 60-something. I christened this chapter: Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Heartclub-boys - in sanctus spiritus amen.

Most Musicians are looking for the ideal woman, exspecially after they had been married.

 Now all these adverts for lonely rockerhearts with same interests and ambitions wouldn't be so exiting. It could also be the problem of collectors of model-railways, who are still missing some rare steam-locomotives from the last century. But it wouldn't fit in this page. No, what really made me thinking was not - why and from wherever, but simply who is who in this index. Pictures underlined with the right names show prove, that it's really them - our heroes of the concert-stages.
By searching through these pages I got to the advert of Mr.Smith, better known as Stuart Smith, born in Great Britain, but living in the Rock'n'Roll Mecca Los Angeles for quite a while. His job is beeing a fulltime musician. In his spare free time he likes to study psychology, loves hiking, Karate and paragliding. Oh by the way, his current record is entitled "Heaven & Earth". This offer you find on number 7. On number 8 there's a pics. of an attractive young male who caught immidiately my eye. Tall with huge muscels and softspot look his name is Dany, 31 years young, and he's a big fan of the Denver Bronco Football-Team. He's also the singer of melodicrockers "Guild Of Ages". Oh before I forget, there are of course links installed on every photograph to get the chance for personal contact with the lucky one. At no. 14 a boy named Tony lets me have a glimpse in his soul. His motto is simply - follow your heart and not the trend of the month. He's member of the rockgroup "Savannah" who got a deal with Z-Records in England. It even gets more interesting on 23. Two real beauties show themselves called Scott and Jim. Both have got the same hobby called "Chrystal Ball". I say only: GrŁazi miteinand in Switzerland. Just underneath there's Jim competing and intending to break the hearts of all those rock-brides. Jimmy-Boy belongs to "Guild Of Ages" as well.

Musicians have two characters - the real one, and the one, female fans think - they've got.

But there are not purely melodicrock musicians looking for someone. If you move three number further, you'll find Shannon 31, smiling out of the screen. He seems dark and mystery and is known as the bassplayer of Heavy Metal rockers "Death". But be careful, he seems to be a hard chap. Who knows what kinda interests he's into. On 38 we're meeting a german offer, named Barish 34, brown hair, brown eyes playing in the band "Jaded Heart". By the way, another member of this band we find on 54 named Michael 31. - Tyr27, loves animals and mountain biking on number 40. He's engaged but this doesn't seem to be a handycap for him. He's active within the group "Satyricon". Ten numbers onwards we find Bam Bam, drummer of Sebastian Bach and on 54 is Dany Danzi another melodic rocker from New Jersey with yet 3 CD's in his luggage. And last but not least I found the advert of Stevie Rachelle, an LA Rocker playing with Glamrockers "Tuff". Some of us might know this little brother of Axl Rose (that's what he looks like) over here in Europe, from his stint with german Sleazers "Shameless" last year. But on the whole, the offer is much larger than only including all these rockmusicians. You can find record-producers, owners of radiostations, Harley Davidson Fanclub Leaders and dozens of freaks, singles, married and divorced men with or without kiddies. How big the inquiry is, is unknown, but maybe by reading this story it'll increase. I won't forget to mention, that there's a corner for ladies-offer as well, but compared with the male section, it hasn't got half as many numbers. But this ain't surprise, because the whole homepage is dedicated to the longhaired men and not the women. Fazit is the fact, that there's a chance for lonely rockerhearts determined by the increasing loss of female interest. This chance, - once again, you find under www.longhairedmen.com, and it keeps the hope of attention, warmth and loving care ahead........or not?

(many years after penning this story, the - above mentioned website does not exist anymore unfortunately...)

Cheers Angry! - the Sexiest Man Alive