…..and if  the world gets really old, a rocker stays a kid.  He´s ruining toys with violence, like children always did. If everything is really broke, and nothing more  to crash, then he is looking happily and plays with all the thrash.


There they are, sweating, gasping for air and longing for success. But Rockstars are only humans like everybody else. One stage performance cost a lot of strenght. Strenght is energy, and energy you have to tank first. As a conclusion they need proper supply to get ready for work, but also for maybe some nice enjoyment after doing their duties. – So they give everything, they castrat themselves, they sweat young dogs, and not only because of the stage spotlight. This all and more need a solid physical and psychological foundation. And this, I´m telling you, depends very much on popularity and the location theyr´e gonna be.

But let´s start with the so called out of nowhere bands, who are already happy, when they find a few bottles beer and one or two sandwiches backstage at the venues, where they play. One step further, we find those groups, who are able to allow themselves to make a few requests. Maybe another bottle of water with or without gas or a now and then joint. If we go even higher in precedence, up there the special demands are getting straight and clear. In form of definate lists, the artists order delicious food and also other things. And last but not least there are the very big stars, who either have their own cook and personal minders travelling with them or take Novelle Cuisine for granted.In this cathegory there is no when and but or yes and no. Everything works without saying and without arguments.  

Star affectation doesn´t make the stars any nicer, but it softens the pokes of live.

Let's party

So let´s summerize once again in our band carussell. From provincial rocker to superstardom, everybody wants to be looked after, however. But while these both individuals stay beyond discussion here, we will concentrate on the middle sized rockacts, who´s names have at least the status of demanding: either/ or and if not, then we don´t. Normally local promoters do everything to please these Rockers and take care about their good moods. The list of requests is rather  high, colorful and sometimes quite exotic. There are some musicians who want Evian water without gas from the Provence, or longing for Cigarillos from Puerto Rico or even ten Havannas from Cuba. It´s getting even more difficult to provide Sulphur-Kiwi-brandy from Rotorua in New Zealand or japanese hot chocolate from the pick of Fujijama. Fortunately those special requests keep within limits. Although some of the wishes become an act of balancing, and it takes much empathy strategy to please the needs of the artists. 

You don´t recognize the character of a musician by  what he wants. It´s more how he wants…

So let´s start with a very well known gentleman named Mr. Ian ‘Lemmy’ Kilmister, who rules the first violin within his baby Motörhead. Lem’ is an old fox in the business. He knows all the  opportunities and circumstances around catering and hospitality. Still he belongs to the sort of modest and easy going people, and all he wants to find in his dressingroom are ten sixpacks of his favorite beer. The only problem is, that this lager is a danish importbeer only available in Denmark and Great Britain. It´s called “Carlsberg Special Brew”, and it has an alcohol level of about 11 percent. Where one of us would black out after three bottles, Lemmy doesn´t move a muscle in his face after the fifth tin. It´s like he just had a cup of tea. However, his request is welcome to us and Carlsberg is waiting for him, just to get another bloody damage to our hearing system as a warm thank you.

Let´s stick with beer again. Alice Cooper once gave us a hard time on one of his european tour in the past. He desperately wanted his beloved Budwiser beer which was delivered almost immideately from the Czech Republic. What followed was a three hours discussion, if this beer was a true Budwiser or not. The problem was,  Alice Cooper´s taste was used to the american version of Budwiser and not to the original beer from Budweis which is much stronger and more spicy. To explain the reasons and backgrounds was such a drag, that within the same space of time you could have got him some tins od US-Bud from across the ocean. Meanwhile the shockrocker has become an anti alcoholic, so this problem doesn´t exist anymore in the future. As a third example we take a musician, who doesn´t fit really into the Heavy Metal draw, but in terms of drinking habits he easily knocks down any young Hardrocker. We are talking about Roger Chapman. His request list for catering consits barely of one bottle each of Gordon´s Dry Gin, Vat 69, Highland Scotch, Black Label, Red Label, Johnny Walker, Glenfiddish Brandy, Black & White and Beefeater. But it´s not, that Roger goes down to celebrate an orgy each time. He collects all the alcoholics, put´s them nicely wrapped up in his travelling cases and takes them home after each tour has finished. What Mr. Rough voice undertakes with all the liquids at home, who knows? Anyway, it´s worth it, and his yearly supplyment of whisky is certainly covered up.

The biggest enemy of rockstars so, is certainly the alkohol, but in the bible it is prior (ity) , your enemies you should admire. 
In the Seventies and Eighties it was often a matter of course, that the catering request lists included stimulation pills, antidepressants and drugs. But times have changed, and it ain´t that bad anymore. Many artist have become wiser while aging and they are  watching their health a bit more carefully.


But not only the just mentioned products and food and drinks are the most requested things. Hardrockers Manowar for instance once insisted for pretty young ladies, possibly blondes with highheels, for their aftershow enjoyment at each performance date. When the band realized, that these girls also turn up without their minders efforts, it was crossed out on the list and exchanged  by other things.

The era of glamrock for instance required a menue card as colored as their outfits. Often you could find special make up products from Dior and lingery from chanell and all these things, please note, were needed for male consumers.

In his best days Wonder-guitar-kind Yngwie Malmsteen insisted on a daily delivery of 100 selected condoms. The question came up if he frequently had used the 3.100 prophylactics. I don´t know, but if he did, bloody hell, superman had achieved a new name and dimension. The only conclusion  which comes to our mind, when we have a close look at Mr. Malmsteen presently is the idea, that he might have waisted himself too much, or whatever might have caused his present shape.

Fact is, Rockstars are leading a healthier life now than they did in the past. Till Lindemann of german band Rammstein undertakes his daily jogging hour on tour and wants his 3 pints of fresh orange juice. American Shooting Stars Slipknot won´t put a toe on  stage without their 150 bottles mineralwater – no gas please. Superguitarist Steve Vai has special rules because of beeing a 100% vegan. His menue card does not allow any meet, eggs or milk products. Rockband “Shelter” has the same problem but they come around by cooking their own meals. One Clue: don´t enter Shelter´s dressing room without gasmasks.

Musicians always want to be released from the drag of their bad habits, but not from the habits themselves.  

And let´s go back in time once more. We remember the bad boys of Rock  Mötley Crüe. On the bands catering list you could find  hard liquids, amphitamins, as well as blowjobs for each member. It didn´t really matter who was the lucky one to do it or where it took place, whether in public or in private. At least this was a relief for promoters. These requests were not as hard to fulfill compared to some exotic magic drinks from the far east or any aphrodisum from the amazonas rainforests. Super legend AC/DC for instance were always really easy in this ways, a little bit of everything, nicely shaken and mixed. Only an oxygen shower for little Angus after hard work, that´s it. Also Britrockers Iron Maiden are rather undemanding compared to many collegues of same status.
First of all, after so many years on the Hardrock heaven, there ain´t any star affectations left and the groupie attrition has stayed beyond the midlife crisis.Apart from that, the iron ‘Maidens’ have got used to the custom to arrive at the spot only minutes before they are hitting the stage and get away as soon as last tune of their set shuts down. In Maidens case hospitality is in most cases unnecessary apart from some meet and greets with fans now and then.

 Lets face the opposite situation in case of Michael Schenker and Ritchie Blackmore. Both superguitarists request specially decorated dressing rooms, far away located from the other bandmembers with some extras. Promoters are treating this subject very carefully, because as we all know, Michael Schenker and also Ritchi Blackmore showed quite a few times absence on stage because of  misunderstandings in arrangements with promoter authorities. To annoy a sleeping lion, as we say in german, can easely drop down the pants.

I presume, I could easily continue this list of examples for Novelle Cuisine in Rock´n´Roll endlessly. But let´s forgive those heroes of Hardrock thanks to their contribution of keeping the genre going. The illusion of wild Rock´n´Roll wants to be kept alive , and we do everything to raise our idols  psychological frame of mind.

Okay, let´s say, almost everything………… 

Moods are the excuse for some musicians who suffer from inferiority complexes